I'm not a morning person...

I am not a morning person.

I’m sure this is a sentiment that many people can relate to (and if you can’t, you surely know someone that can!). My alarm clock is extra loud (and surely two hours too early?!?!); light is too bright; the tiniest sound is obnoxious; the tasks on my To Do List are stupid; and my normally wonderful husband is annoyingly smiley and optimistic (even as the poor man - a dreaded morning person - brings me tea in bed!)…

When under stress - a setting that has quite frankly become my norm these days - my daybreak woes deepen (or shall I say darken?). Of course, it doesn’t help waking up to a cellphone… First, I check my Whatsapp and respond to messages. Then - inevitably - I end up doom-scrolling on socials. Blink, and an hour has passed and I feel crappier than when I first woke up angry at the world. Now, I’m angry at myself, too!

What an incredible waste of time. What an awful way to start the day. Why do it, when I know just how bad it makes me feel?! It’s escapism, right? Or avoidance or displacement behaviour or simply a lame excuse: “It’s just helping me to wake up a bit”.

Liar…

The ruth is, it’s a sign that I’m not well. I’m losing the ability to just be. I’m seeking a quick-fix dopamine hit (that is actually adversely affecting the way my body produces its own dopamine) instead of doing something healthy and fulfilling that genuinely does bring me joy.

So, after some advice from my wonderful business coach and accountability group (because it takes a village to Adult!), I decided to commit to trying a few different activities to help me wake up. Here they are, and how it went:

1. Listening to music.
   This backfired. BADLY. Even my favourite tunes made me super-duper angry! I did have some success with very light, yoga-esque, ding-dong-whoo-hoooooo music (which I usually play to get into a calm state of mind when I’m about to paint; or when I'm writing - like now! - and can't concentrate with someone singing). But in the end, I decided even that wasn’t for me.
2. Reading something light.
   James Herriot is my go-to. He was a vet working in the Yorkshire Dales in the 1930s to 50s, and his animal short stories make you laugh and cry… sometimes simultaneously! I’ve reread his books a million times, which is actually helpful for a mushy-morning-brain. I don't have to concentrate too hard!
3. Colouring.
   Yup. As ridiculous as it may sound, this artist likes to colour like a friggen preschooler! There is something very therapeutic about filling little patterns with rainbow hues. My mind goes quiet, but has the opportunity to gently wake up. And there’s no pressure -- mushy-morning-brain and gunky eyes aren’t fully functional yet, so staying in the lines is impossible. But who cares?! It's just for me, and I feel calm and happy! As is evident in the pic above, judging by my remarkably happy face (and the fact that Alex is still breathing, even after he insisted on taking a selfie of us while I was colouring).

Fellow NON-morning peeps -- I'm open to more suggestions! Morning people - please keep your superhuman smiles and optimism to yourselves! ;)